P2YL | 38. 'Delicacy': a surprising film about love after heartbreak
Good news, even if, like me, you're nothing like Audrey Tautou
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During my ten years post-divorce and before I remarried, I was in shock at my own broken marriage.
I dissected romance films with a fine-toothed comb, subconsciously looking at the characters and asking myself:
- how do they make it happen?
- how do a woman and a man come together?
- how do they make it work?
I know such films aren’t reality but the better of them express some truths that the writer has experienced in their own relationships.
Delicacy
(La Délicatesse)
Starring Audrey Tautou & François Damiens | France | 2011
These days I get to watch romance films in the company of my husband who also enjoys them, and it’s interesting to get the male reaction to what unfolds on screen.
We both loved the tenderness and maturity of the French film Delicacy (La Délicatesse).
It stars Audrey Tautou, of Amélie fame, and an actor we hadn’t seen before, François Damiens.
It’s not your stereotypical romantic film…
…and that’s what charmed us about it.
In Delicacy, Nathalie (Audrey Tautou) has an apparently perfect life until she finds herself having to deal with terrible loss.
She no longer believes in any future happiness and numbs herself by putting her all into her office job.
Then the unexpected happens.
She gradually becomes drawn to work-colleague Markus (François Damiens) who is awkward, balding, not drop-dead gorgeous and has been known to wear beige jumpers.
From here an unusual but sweet relationship blossoms in which Nathalie begins to warm to life and love again.
'A lesson in optimism'
It is a ‘lesson in optimism’, as one reviewer commented.
Markus doesn’t have the instant charisma and cute appeal of Nathalie’s former love.
But both Nathalie and the audience warm to his genuine goodness, his chivalry (dare I use that word?) towards Nathalie, the effort he puts into finding an enjoyable date.
Then, almost magically, you begin to take a second and third look at him.
You notice he's making better clothes choices.
While he’s not typically handsome, he’s tall, hunky, and has a genuine masculinity.
Plus inner depth and integrity.
We see that the love between the two works, but not without adjustments, and that is the realistic magic of the film.
What does this have to do with real-life dating?
There are two things to take away from this film and bear in mind when it comes to love later on in life, perhaps after divorce or heartbreak:
1️⃣ It’s the men who fall into the third category in the above list you should be careful not to dismiss too quickly.
It’s a good idea to give a good man (honest, decent, kind, considerate etc) who clearly likes you, at least three dates before you come to any snap judgements about him.
Why?
If you don’t, you risk falling into the classic trap of missing out on a man who may be a hidden gem.
Read my own experience of 'the three date rule' and how it worked out for me: P2YL | 21. Love at third sight
2️⃣ It’s a savvy woman who realises that being slightly above him in the attractiveness stakes is not a disbenefit when it comes to successful relationships.
Why?
The competitive pursuer that lives inside every man is always going to feel he has achieved a fantastic deal in the love of this desirable woman, and he won’t want to do anything to risk losing her.
It’s the sort of love you can bask in. Both of you.
🌞 🌞 🌞
