P2YL | 36. Greetings from Barcelona
Sending Spanish sunshine to you
At the end of a long winter, thoughts turn to sunnier days and holiday horizons but it’s been my experience that holidays can be complicated, depending on your personal circumstances.
Holidays in Part 1 of My (Love?) Life
Pre-divorce, holidays were easy. Married to someone in the travel business, I relished the opportunity to travel cheaply and easily to beautiful places recommended by travel professionals with insider information.
Then my husband left me and, along with much else, such holidays disappeared. If you’ve been through it you will know what I mean when I say divorce/separation means not only the loss of your partner but also the loss of your life as you once knew it.
Holidays A.D. (After Divorce)
For a long time after our divorce I couldn’t go anywhere near an airport or get on an aeroplane. The memories of holidays we had spent together, coupled with the sense of loss, was just too painful.
At the same time, deep down within me was the conviction it was wrong to allow someone else’s actions to handicap me. Eventually I plucked up courage, booked a short flight to stay with kind relatives in Dublin, and devised my own coping-strategy to deal with an environment I had been avoiding for years.
You can read how it went in:
✈️ My 'one small step' for womankind and
👠YOUR 'one small step' for womankind
Overcoming the power of painful memories was one thing. The other was the question-mark hanging over holidays themselves. As a divorced woman, on my own, hoping one day to re-marry someone very special, was spending money on holidays the best use of my limited resources?
There are some people who will scrimp and save all year round to go away on a really fantastic holiday and they consider every penny well-spent. It gives them a year-long boost and a sense of living life to the full.
I, on the other hand, decided it made more sense for me to put the money into having a good time all year round, doing the things that brought me closer to my goal of regaining self-confidence, gradual healing, and finding new, long-lasting love.
My money-strategy was to identify what things I was prepared to scrimp on in order to be able to splurge on other, more important (to me) things.
I called it the 'Poor but posh' approach.
So during my post-divorce years I deliberately kept holidays low-key and less expensive, putting the majority of my saved-up cash into making my everyday life aesthetic, enjoyable and sociable.
The message hidden in your holiday snaps
I would never rule out holidays completely even in modest circumstances because apart from the personal benefits, they provide fun and sometimes even farcical experiences to be shared when the subject of holidays comes up in a social group. They are a good conversation piece.
Plus posting photos on social media of you having a good time on holiday sends a signal that you know how to enjoy yourself and have the means and/or savvy money-management skills to be able to afford to get away. Attractive qualities in a partner.
Full circle to the present day
This strategy worked for me.
Being economical with holidays meant there was cash available year-round for activities, social events, regular appointments with a decent hairdresser, leg and bikini-line waxes, up-to-date clothes, gym membership, and dating.
The simpler breaks I chose to go on still yielded photos and experiences to share with others when the topic of holidays came up.
And in time I did meet that extra-special man who became my husband and who also loves to travel. Recently we’ve been to Barcelona for our ninth wedding anniversary.
So here I am, full-circle, grateful to be able to go on the sort of holidays that I thought I had said goodbye to, and wanting to encourage other women who might be going through something similar that:
Good Times Do Come Again
🌿🌿🌿
