A September Spring | 5. What's a P2YL mindset?
And would it work for you?
One Spring years ago I felt like I was going through Winter.
By contrast, Autumn a few months later began to show the faint stirrings of new growth and resolution.
It was on an October day just like today I came to terms with the fact I had better start planning for a future without my husband of 12 years who had left me a few months before.
Hence 'A September Spring'.
Practical steps to get to a better place
By that stage I was all cried-out and prayed-out.
I wiped my eyes, shoved my screwed-up handkerchief into my pocket, and faced the future: Part 2 Of My (Love?) Life.
Perhaps you’ve been in that situation yourself, or similar.
Perhaps you've been left reeling by life events and feel, as I did, the need of a change of mindset and taking intentional steps to find a way forward.
At times of loss in my life — whether that's been a health problem, a family crisis, loneliness — I've found sitting down and coming up with some objective ideas to improve things was a way of taking back some control from the something or someone who seemed to be dictating my circumstances.
It's helped me mentally which is probably two-thirds of the battle of dealing with whatever life throws at you.
In Part 1 Of My Life:
I used to believe that things would 'just work out' due to God (or Destiny/Fate/The Universe/Life itself). I would be guided to my 'one-and-only'.
In Part 2 Of My Life:
I began to suspect the 'one-and-only' idea was a myth.
Maybe it's closer to the truth that we meet more than one potential partner throughout our lives.
Each one will have pros and cons as a life-partner. No perfection.
And vice versa.
P2YL mindset:
In Part 1 Of My Life:
First time round, college and work and church and socialising brought me into frequent contact with single people in a similar age-group.
In Part 2 Of My Life:
Second time around, virtually everyone in a similar age bracket around me was already coupled up.
The P2YL mindset:
In Part 1 Of My Life:
‘Just be yourself’ seemed to be the unquestioned mantra.
By Part 2 Of My Life:
Unfortunately sometimes it's an attitude that can trick you into being self-centred and inflexible, stymieing relationships.
The P2YL mindset:
In Part 1 Of My Life:
First time round, thirty was considered ‘old’.
Both sexes were in prime condition and at the height of their superficial attractiveness.
In Part 2 Of My Life:
Looking round at men for the first time in 15 years was proof to me of the toll time takes on all of us.
Including me.
(Though I like to think we women mature like fine wine.)
The P2YL mindset:
🍃🍃🍃
